Personally I always enjoy receiving selected books from the BookSneeze blogger program. This time wasn't any different that is until I opened and started reading this book. "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs was quite possibly the most sexist, inappropriate, frankly rude thing I've ever read. I couldn't even finish it. I've always been against burning any books but let me tell you I'm seriously considering it. It's that bad.
Somehow it seems that according to Dr. Eggerichs all women should unconditionally show respect to their husbands no matter what. Seems this is a commandment according to scripture. Must have missed that one Moses. One of the examples that he used to convey this lovely message was an argument between a wife and husband over their anniversary. It goes a little something like this: A wife was hoping that her husband would remember their 10th wedding anniversary all on his own so she didn't remind him or even hint about it. Her husband is really proud of himself when he remembers it on the day of the anniversary and rushes off to the store to find the perfect card to convey his feelings. Sounds pretty nice, huh? Just wait. He finds the card that seems to put his feelings into words and rushes home. He excitedly presents the card to his wife. She's touched that he remembered without being reminded and reads the card. Then she opens it. Happy Birthday is the message inside. Of course she's hurt so she asks him if he even read the card. Then asks him if this had been his car being detailed wouldn't he have paid close attention to make sure that it was correctly done. Seems this upsets him so they argue then he storms off. Ok stop right there. Did you read all that? Get this...It's her FAULT! Yep you read that correctly. According to Dr. Eggerichs's book she was disrespectful which caused her husband to behave in an unloving way! Oh and by the way that was in Chapter 1.
The attitude throughout this book was that the wife was to be completely submissive to her husbands needs and feelings regardless if he behaved and treated her in a loving manner. Who cares if he's abusive, an alcoholic, a womanizer, or any manner of bad behavior...she's commanded to be respectful because it's a commandment according to Dr. Eggerichs. Every single problem that he explained also seemed to trail back to it being the wife's fault for not showing proper respect. Food not on the table when dear old hubby gets home from work= disrespect. House not perfectly clean= disrespect. Headache when he's in the mood= disrespect. Seems the good Dr. needs to learn how to change the channel. He must be watching a Leave it to Beaver marathon on TV Land.
I had such a huge problem with the theories in this book. Love and Respect, in my opinion, should be equal between a couple. Period. You can't have one without the other. By showing respect to one another you also show you're love for one another. That's the scriptures that I've read. That's what I understood from Ephesians 5:33. But then again who knows, after all I'm not Doris Day.
Somehow it seems that according to Dr. Eggerichs all women should unconditionally show respect to their husbands no matter what. Seems this is a commandment according to scripture. Must have missed that one Moses. One of the examples that he used to convey this lovely message was an argument between a wife and husband over their anniversary. It goes a little something like this: A wife was hoping that her husband would remember their 10th wedding anniversary all on his own so she didn't remind him or even hint about it. Her husband is really proud of himself when he remembers it on the day of the anniversary and rushes off to the store to find the perfect card to convey his feelings. Sounds pretty nice, huh? Just wait. He finds the card that seems to put his feelings into words and rushes home. He excitedly presents the card to his wife. She's touched that he remembered without being reminded and reads the card. Then she opens it. Happy Birthday is the message inside. Of course she's hurt so she asks him if he even read the card. Then asks him if this had been his car being detailed wouldn't he have paid close attention to make sure that it was correctly done. Seems this upsets him so they argue then he storms off. Ok stop right there. Did you read all that? Get this...It's her FAULT! Yep you read that correctly. According to Dr. Eggerichs's book she was disrespectful which caused her husband to behave in an unloving way! Oh and by the way that was in Chapter 1.
The attitude throughout this book was that the wife was to be completely submissive to her husbands needs and feelings regardless if he behaved and treated her in a loving manner. Who cares if he's abusive, an alcoholic, a womanizer, or any manner of bad behavior...she's commanded to be respectful because it's a commandment according to Dr. Eggerichs. Every single problem that he explained also seemed to trail back to it being the wife's fault for not showing proper respect. Food not on the table when dear old hubby gets home from work= disrespect. House not perfectly clean= disrespect. Headache when he's in the mood= disrespect. Seems the good Dr. needs to learn how to change the channel. He must be watching a Leave it to Beaver marathon on TV Land.
I had such a huge problem with the theories in this book. Love and Respect, in my opinion, should be equal between a couple. Period. You can't have one without the other. By showing respect to one another you also show you're love for one another. That's the scriptures that I've read. That's what I understood from Ephesians 5:33. But then again who knows, after all I'm not Doris Day.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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